Secret of a Yogi #2: A yogi never complains

Even though life may be quiet a challenge to get through sometimes, a Yogi understand that complaining makes things worse for one.
Some of us whine, complain about our lives, blame others for our problems, and yet what we don't realize is that all that we get or don't get in our lives is dictated by the law of Karma or the law of "cause and effect", also known as newton's law.

Nothing is amiss even if it looks unfair to our naked eye. And all our experiences serve the maturation of our own spiritual growth.

Take a moment and look at how you were 20 years ago verses who you are today; can you see that all the events that have happened in your life, particularly the most challenging one have shaped you to the person you are today?
Hopefully you like what you see and have used these challenges to push you forward and become a better human with more depth and wisdom.

When we complain and whine about our life's dilemma and situation it is like asking the universe to give us more of the same. When we talk about our problems so much, think about them constantly, and react about what happened to us, we are setting up another scenario for the future to be the same as the one we just went through.
It is a universal principle, a spiritual truth, it can't be changed.

I was 20 when I realized that my parents were not the cause of my problems. I had move to America and they were not here anymore, yet my problems remained. How could that be?
I had to do some digging and Soul searching to let go of my anger toward what my parents didn't do for me or what I thought they should have helped me with.

When I did, it was a huge realization and very freeing. I was in charge of my own destiny not someone else.
I felt liberated and I started to take responsibility for my own thoughts, my way of talking and my actions, including  the things that happened in the past but were still plaguing me with guilt and shame because I hadn't resolved them nor understood my part in it.

My parents were regular people, and after leaving the farm they were able to get comfortable government jobs. They were not making much money to provide for 5 kids but they knew they could count on the same salary each month no matter what.
They did the best they could to raise all of us. Being the last of 5, I was mostly raised by my elder sister. By the time I came into this world, my mom was exhausted and left it up to my sister to do the job.

I had many reasons to have grudges toward my parents, like many of us do. We think they are to blame for our ineptitude toward life, and in my case the lack of training they gave me as a young woman to prepare me into the world. When I moved abroad I had to fence for myself, no one to turn to, confine with my difficulties because my parents had no clue what life could be like as a young female entrepreneur in a foreign country. It was hard yet that's what I wanted.

My parents didn't know any better than what they gave me. I had to learn the importance of survival as I lived my life. Once I let go of the fact that they were not to blame for my short comings or my anger issues, and even my emotional instability, I felt free and I could start creating a new me!

At that time I started to take responsibility for myself. With the way I was, I knew I had to do some Soul searching to uncover the good and hidden gem within me (which we all have).
If I didn't like what was in my life I could change it or change my attitude towards it and before I knew it, things would start changing, the "unwanted" would disappear.

Raised as a Catholic, I had no knowledge of karma & reincarnation while growing up. But as a young adult I started to understand that there was no one to blame but me for my problems.
As I delved into spirituality and the practice of yoga philosophy, I started to understand that we are born in the family we have because of our karmas from previous lives with them.
We are here to pay our debts toward our family members or reap the benefits from our actions from previous lives.
Hard to accept yes, but true none the less.

So the fact we have all these difficult experiences with our siblings or parents is not because of them but because of us not seeing clearly, and having a distorted point of view about them. It can change anytime we take charge of our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

If we start whining and complaining about our problems we are just increasing the problem 10 fold and asking the universe for the same to be given to us again and again!
But that's not what we want, is it?
As soon as we stop this mechanical reaction, and we start being responsible or know that we are the creator for our lives, not only there are no more reasons for us to complain but we start to be able to see things as they are and see our part in it.

As we grow in our human-hood, into a spiritual being, or into a true Yogi we stop complaining. We know it is futile, a waste of time, unbecoming, disrespectful to our higher self and our creator, and the path to "hell".

Own your anger instead, even if someone triggered it. That anger lives in you not them!
Apologize if when you have wrong someone and try to mend your ways toward them. No one is immune to make mistakes, but don't leave them as is or pretend they are not there.
Be big and go to that person in humility to ask for forgiveness, even if they are right. Who cares who's right, what's important is that you amend your ways and do the right thing.
 
Try to practice this: "A Yogi Never Complains" in one's life.
Keep note of the changes that are taking place when you stop your old patterns. Keep in mind that anytime you make changes for yourself, you will be tested (or tempted) with a similar challenge to give you an opportunity to show that you really want this new you! And not return to the same old self you dislike so much, and show you truly want this change.
 
Don't get discouraged. Keep to your promise and take on the challenge.
 
From a Yogi to Another ~ Marie-Aude Préau